45 Ways to Up Your Oral Sex Game Even More

Oral sex is one of the most intimate things you can do with a partner, not to mention, it also feels really effing good for whoever is receiving it. Seeing your partner in the throes of passion can also be a huge ego boosting turn-on for the giver as well, which kinda makes oral sex a win-win. If you wanna make sure your oral game is the best it can be when it comes to not only giving but also receiving, read on. Obvi, it’s not like, a competition, but there’s likely to be a lot of tricks and tips out there you haven’t yet tried that can make it more fun for all parties involved. Just like everything else with sex, getting crafty and mixing it up with a new trick or two is pretty low-risk, high-reward.

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So if you feel like your giving/getting routine is in a rut, or you’re just always trying to improve all the horny aspects of your life, here are 45 (and that’s just a start!) tips to make sure you and your partner are both on the absolute top of your oral game.

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1. Try using a vibrator on all partners, even those who don’t have a vagina.

Ideally, you’ve got a few vibrators you use for your own pleasure lying around and this can be a great way to add new sensation when giving oral sex on those with penises. Sex expert Tyomi Morgan recommends a massage wand like the Charmed wand by Sweet Vibes. Because it’s a wand with a curved tip, it makes it extra easy to use to tease your partner.

2. Try it blindfolded.

Morgan also recommends blindfolding your partner (obvi with their permission), as it heightens the senses and makes erogenous zones even more sensitive. Tickle their vulva, labia, shaft, balls, or head with a vibrator while blindfolded and the sensation gets even more intense.

3. Compliment their genitals.

Don’t you feel sexy and empowered when your partner compliments you? Return the favor and do the same for them. “There’s nothing more amazing than hearing what your partner likes about your genitals,” adds sex and relationships coach Azaria Menezes. Not only does it boost the turn-on factor and your confidence, but it’ll also probably get them even more revved up knowing how genuinely excited and enthusiastic you are to be with them in that moment. In fact, “the more detailed your compliments, the sexier,” she adds.

4. Rub their whole body with your hands.

While you can def use your hands on your partner’s genitals during oral, it can also be really pleasurable to have your hands take a break from their junk and use your hands on other parts of their body, says Menezes. Use the opportunity to grab, clutch, or rub their inner thighs, hips, or even just grasp their hands.

5. Don’t be afraid to get vocal or make some noise (even a long “mhm” works here!)

Not only is being vocal during sex a turn on, the noises you make may create small vibrations, says Menezes. These vibrations, hums, and noises can add even more to the feeling of both giving and receiving oral sex.

6. Make it a point to incorporate in eye contact.

This one works equally well with both giving and receiving. This is a good way to connect to your partner even if your mouth is full (lol) and it’s a huge turn on for your partner to look you in the eye when giving you oral, says Menezes.

7. Pretend like your partner’s genitals are the only thing in the world that matter in that moment.

Being present and 100% focused on giving oral is one of those things where your enthusiasm is nearly guaranteed to turn your partner on, Menezes adds. Think about how meh it is when someone is going down on you but their face and body language is very much reading like “ok how much longer do I have to do this?” Not enjoyable right? If you really wanna turn your partner on, enthusiasm is key here — not to mention it sets the standard for both partners really giving it their all during oral.

8. When giving oral, play use your tongue on their whole body, not just their genitals.

Your tongue is a self lubricating textured muscle that happens to be pretty strong. Work in some licking and sucking on all parts of your partner’s body, like their collarbone, fingers, and more to really turn up the heat.

9. Keep your tongue wet with some mints or chewing gum.

If you tend to get dry mouth when giving oral, keep some mints or chewing gum in your bedside table for easy access before going down. Specifically anything with “xylitol” in it can help kickstart saliva function, as Dr. Wendy Askew, OBGYN, previously explained to Cosmopolitan.

10. Need a ton more spit ASAP with no time for stocking up on bedside chewing gum? Try going deeper for more spit — IF, and only if, you’re comfy with it.

As Dr. Jarrett Manning, DDS, previously told Cosmopolitan, the anecdotal trick of “going deeper for more mucous-y spit” is actually the result of tricking your body into gagging. Keep in mind this is basically tricking your body into going into fight-or-flight response so only do it if you’re super desperate and you’re okay with it.

11. Experiment with different types of oral sex toys, like a suction vibrator or a sex toy that mimics tongue movement.

For those with vulvas, there are typically two kinds of toys that mimic the pleasure of oral sex: suction vibrators (that feel like suction and use waves and vibration for ultra-intense oral feeling) and faux-tongue-like toys (that have rubber or silicone nubbins that mimic the more superficial feeling of a literal tongue on your vulva).

When it comes to suction vibrators, we recommend the Lelo Sona 2, as it’s been the most popular suction vibrator among staff and many experts, although you can’t go wrong with a Womanizer or Satisfyer toy either (both brands specialize in suction toys.)

For faux-tongue-mimicry, we like the Lelo Ora 3, which has a thin layer of silicone stretched over a drum with a tongue-like nubbin that moves in circles and different patterns, that along with vibration, can feel very real.

If you’re someone who is typically a bit uncomfy getting oral, getting acquainted with these kinds of toys can open up a whole new world of pleasurable receiving so you can go into your next oral session with full confidence knowing how good it can make you feel. You can also use these toys with a partner the next time your tongue gets tired, or show your partner how you like to be pleasured.

12. Try a blowjob sleeve

Likewise for those with male partners, a blowjob sleeve can be a great way to reacquaint themselves with just how pleasurable oral can really be. You can use it together, or have them use it on their own and report back, to make it more of a couples’ activity.

13. Try a blowjob sleeve hack.

If you love the idea of blowjob sleeves, but still want to be actively involved, snip the end of a Tenga egg off, and use it for pinch-hitting when your mouth is tired during a bj.

14. If you’re not already getting lube involved, do it.

You might think of lube as just for penetrative sex, but TBH, saliva is not always as reliable as having a legit eight ounces of the stuff ready to go on your bedside table. Whether you’re giving or getting head on someone with a penis or a vulva, lube is going to make the whole thing way easier and more pleasurable for both parties. Plus, it takes some of the pressure off the giver as well.

15. Tell your partner they taste really good.

Regardless of which gender you’re performing oral on, being told that your genitals straight-up taste good is an insane turn-on. If you’re so into your partner that the pheromones in your brain are kicking in and being like, ‘Yes, this is amazing, every part of it,’ tell them so! Enthusiasm is super effing hot.

16. Experiment with suction on the clitoris.

Cunnilingus is often associated with licking, which is well and good, but suction on your clitoris can also be extremely feel-good. Have your partner try lightly sucking on the external part of your clitoris after tons of licking around the labia to get your warmed up (direct clitoral sensation like this can be way too much right off the bat), or try sucking on your partner’s clit. It helps to think of the clit like a tiny penis, and the objective is to give the world’s gentlest blowjob to your clit.

17. Keep your undies on during oral.

Have your partner keep your undies on during all the foreplay of oral, exhaling their warm breath over the fabric of your panties, lightly tugging on the elastic with their teeth, etc. When you can’t take it anymore and they’re about to actually make mouth-to-vulva contact, have them push your underwear to the side as they go to town. The primal gotta-have-you-now effect of keeping your undies on will make things even hotter.

18. Get familiar with the Kivin method.

Instead of having your partner approach your vulva with the clit in the north end of their oral compass, have them lie perpendicularly, so your clit is now located in the east or west positions. This way, they can lick your clit from the new north to south, aka side-to-side, for what some say is a truly game-changing oral experience.

19. Narrate the whole thing.

Yes, your mouth may be occupied, but when you have—ahem—a spare moment, tell your partner exactly what you’re doing and how. There’s more than one way to use your mouth for sex, after all.

20. Get creative with positions.

Penetrative sex shouldn’t get all the fun body contortions. Mix up your oral game by physically moving around and trying new positions, just like you do in the rest of your sex life. The more body parts that are in the air, the better.

21. Do it spontaneously.

Whether you’re bored as fuck watching some documentary or just randomly got horny at the breakfast table, turn a mundane situation into an extremely thrilling one with a quick oral sesh (always, of course, with the full enthusiastic consent from your partner). A rut can also look like doing very exciting sex things always at the same time/in the same place. Mix it all up by bringing your sex life into new and unexpected places.

22. Bring in some toy assistance.

If your mouth and hands are tired (they do a lot of work all day, we get it!), or even if they’re not, you both can and should bring in some nonhuman assistance. With your partner’s permission, add a butt plug or anal beads to up the ante.

23. Put oral sex porn on in the background.

Not all porn is created equal, and there are tons of ethical, very chill options out there for those who are so inclined to enjoy. Find a flick you both like, maybe watch for some new moves or tips, and then get to it while the people onscreen are getting to it behind you.

24. Use your breath.

Mare Simone, a certified tantra educator, says that using your hot breath to stimulate nerve endings is an amazing way to ramp up foreplay before diving in. This works just as well with fellatio as it does with cunnilingus. Next time you’re going down on your partner, just take a step back to breathe on their sensitive parts before making contact. The suspense will turn them on in ways you didn’t know were possible.

25. Try some light prostate play.

Without trying internal prostate play via fingering or toys, did you know you can also stimulate a guy’s prostate externally? Cara Kovacs, an NYC-based sex coach, suggests stimulating your guy’s perineum (located between his anus and balls) by gently massaging him while going down on him.

26. Kiss her outside her panties.

When it comes to cunnilingus, Kovacs recommends kissing your partner outside her panties for a while until she’s begging for you. “Women need more time to warm up than men, and gentle touching is a great preface,” she explains.

27. Don’t be afraid to be messy and show enthusiasm.

Regardless of if you’re performing fellatio or cunnilingus, it’s supes important to show enthusiasm. Think about it. The best technical skill in the world doesn’t matter if the giver seems bored, uninterested, or, even worse, turned off while going down on you. Kovacs recommends vocal enthusiasm, eye contact, and smiling to show your partner how much you enjoy pleasing them. It’s also important to be okay with messiness. “Show your partner that you like having their deliciousness all over your face. That nothing about them doesn’t turn you on and that you delight in their delight,” says Kovacs.

28. Spread her labia.

Along the same lines of not being bashful, Jill McDevitt, PhD, CalExotics’ resident sexologist, says it’s really important to spread the labia during cunnilingus. This way, your partner has the space to approach the clitoris from all angles and sides. “Typically, beginners are really bashful about this, but spread the labia wide, get in the folds, and sensation will improve.” This is also good to keep in mind when you’re receiving cunnilingus. Don’t be afraid to reach down and ~show yourself~ to your partner.

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29. Masturbating can help you figure out what you like.

Yes, a tongue is way different than a finger or a toy, but knowing what works for you when you’re solo is at least a good place to start when explaining what you want your partner to do when they’re thigh-deep and ready to go. Do you like constant pressure or increasing pressure? How about speed and pace?

30. Get your whole body into it.

As recommended via a podcast from the pros at Pleasure Mechanics, try stimulating (or asking your partner to stimulate) your whole body first, starting from your legs and working inward toward your clitoris.

31. Switch things up at the beginning.

As many guys get close to orgasm, they typically just want you to keep doing that one thing you’re doing without stopping till they get there. A little boring, but whatever. However, to build up anticipation at the beginning, you can try shaking up your routine. Think alternating longer ice-cream-style licks with more traditional full-mouth-over-the-peen sucking.

32. If it’s hard for you to focus on enjoying yourself, turn the lights off.

A shocking number of women have trouble letting go mentally and enjoying oral sex when their partner goes down on them. Sound like you? Try keeping the lights off so you’re less likely to be distracted by your surroundings and more likely to float off into ready-to-orgasm land.

33. You don’t need a partner to enjoy oral-like sensations.

While very few things are going to exactly recreate the feeling of a tongue, some newer vibrators come pretty close. Options like the Womanizer, which utilizes suction, or the Ora 2, which has moving beads to mimic the motion of a tongue, are excellent substitutes. *blissfully counts down the days until technology can replace men altogether*

Shop Now Ora 2, $189, Lelo

34. Nope, you don’t need to deep-throat.

If your partner is super into the idea of full-penis sensation, you can deliver that easily without deep-throating. Try wrapping your hand around the bottom of his shaft and taking the rest of him in your mouth. Or place the tip of your tongue on the roof of your mouth. Then let his peen hit the underside of your tongue. No gagging necessary.

35. And since the subject came up, you don’t need to swallow either.

When, where, and how your partner ejaculates during a blow job should be something both of you discuss and agree upon. You don’t need to swallow literally ever, nor does your partner need to finish in your mouth at all! You might find it incredibly sexy to watch him finish elsewhere, on your body or his body—there are tons of options.

36. Have him try sucking.

Ask him to switch up his moves and try sucking on your clitoris instead—it provides a more intense pressure. No *pressure* if this isn’t for you though! Some prefer a gentle flicking motion instead.

37. He doesn’t need to ejaculate for a blow job to be enjoyable.

Many guys don’t actually want going down to be the main event. According to a Cosmo poll, 54 percent of men like oral action as foreplay alone. So if it feels like a particular BJ has run its course, switch it up and try something else!

38. Get into flavored lubes.

If you’re going to be down there, you may as well experiment with different flavors. Lube can add extra sensation to a blow job and be enjoyable to you too. Lots of companies make flavored formulas that taste just slightly fruity or minty, not like candy-coated toxic waste. You can buy a sample pack at most sex toy shops.

Shop Now Sample Pack of Lube, Babeland, $15

39. Talk! Talk talk talk talk talk.

Communication is so basic but so necessary. Neither one of you can read each other’s mind during sex, so speak up if there’s something you want that he’s not delivering. There are tons of ways to verbalize it if you feel a little tongue-tied, like “It’s so hot when you…” or “I’d love it if you’d try….”

40. Your hands can step up if your jaw feels tired.

You should never be doing anything in bed that feels uncomfortable, but if you’re coming up against a bit of muscle fatigue, try any of these hand job techniques. At the same time, flick your tongue over the tip.

41. Just because he’s going down on you doesn’t mean he should ignore your other sensitive areas.

Being stimulated in multiple areas will help a woman reach climax more quickly. So while his tongue is at work, have him play with your nipples. In the beginning, he should softly stroke your nips, but as you get closer, he can squeeze if you’re into that.

42. Cooling down can be very hot.

Your temperature rises slightly when you’re aroused, so anything cool will be a pleasurable jolt to your senses. Point a fan in your direction so that while he’s between your legs, you’re feeling both the warmth from his mouth and a cool breeze. The combo is unexpected, and anything surprising can send you over the edge.

43. Go ahead, sit on his face.

If you’re having trouble orgasming in a standard partner-in-between-your-legs position, switch it up and mount his face, being careful not to apply too much pressure. It allows him to access a totally new angle that might be just what you need to get there.

44. There’s a digital version of oral.

Here’s a unique way to give his frenulum—the tiny bump on the underside of his penis where the shaft meets the tip—some special attention: Place the tip of your finger on it, then take his shaft (along with your finger) into your mouth. As you move your mouth up and down, rub your finger over the F-spot.

45. Get cozy.

You 100 percent do not need to be on your knees to give your partner oral sex. There are so many ways to go down that make it extra comfortable for you, like lying on your back while he kneels over you or arranging pillows to make things softer.

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Sex & Relationships – Cosmopolitan
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