5 Women Get Real About What It’s Like to Use a Butt Plug

Fun fact actually really really sad fact: Only 32 percent of Cosmo readers have used a butt plug. This comes despite 82 percent of ya’ll saying you enjoy anal stimulation.

So let me put you on to the toy that should be The Move for lots of reasons.

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For 1) The anal area, in general, is an erogenous zone for everyone—including those with penises, 2) Butt plugs come in all different shapes and sizes that can be explored with or without a partner, and 3) They can work as the lil extra spice you’ve been craving in the bedroom.

But I get it. The whole butt plug thing can be a little daunting to just kick things off. So to start: Read up on butt plugs and everything to know about them here, then take it from these five women below who have experience with butt plugs.

This is all the real talk you need, my friend.

How do you like to use your butt plug?

• “Unpopular opinion, but during masturbation. Especially in the shower.”—Aarji, 32
• “I like to use it with my boyfriend while we’re doing other sexual things.” —Lizzie, 28
• “We use it during intercourse. My boyfriend puts it in me and voilà.” —Anna, 43
• “I like it while giving oral to my partner.” —Kaley, 28
• “It totally depends on the day and whether I’m by myself or with my partner. But I do always need some form of vaginal or clitoral stimulation while using a plug. I love using plugs, but a plug doesn’t usually get me to the finish line by itself.” —Sophie, 25

What does it feel like to use a butt plug? Does it hurt?

• “It would hurt if you didn’t properly prepare your booty hole for it, yes. But the warm-up with your fingers make it easier so that it doesn’t hurt—it’s actually a sensation you get used to quickly.”—Aarji, 32
• “I imagine it would hurt if you went for an enormous size right out of the gate, but as I mentioned before, they usually come in a set of various sizes. You can start with one small enough to deliver all the pleasure without any pain.” —Lizzie, 28
• “It feels full. I don’t know how else to describe it. It doesn’t hurt, but I do insist on a ton of lube and slow insertion. My partner says it makes me feel tighter.” —Anna, 43
• “No, it doesn’t hurt. For me, it’s kind of like a rush. It heightens my experience. The more you use it, the more enjoyable it becomes.” —Kaley, 28
• “I find there is an amazing feeling of ‘fullness’ to wearing a plug during intercourse or while using a vibrator.” —Sophie, 25

When and how did you first experiment with butt play in general?

• “Because my girlfriend was super into butt play, I wanted to see what was so exciting about it too.” —Aarji, 32
• “I was hooking up with my high school crush when I was 16 and he randomly put a finger in my butt while we were having sex. I wanted to seem cool and experienced, so I just went with it. I don’t recall it feeling good or bad, but I definitely did a secret inspection of his hand after to see if there was *ahem* anything on it. There wasn’t!” —Lizzie, 28
• “I have casually engaged in butt play with three partners, but my current partner of three years and I have experimented more with it. I would say the level of intimacy and vulnerability between us is definitely the reason why we’re more experimental.” —Anna*, 43
• “When I was 23. I was never into anal before getting my first plug. I read up on tips and tricks before using it for the first time.” —Kaley*, 28
• “I first experimented with anal play around six years ago, and it was sort of like the natural progression with my partner at the time. We would add a finger here and there during sex for a bit of extra stimulation.” —Sophie, 25

What was your first butt plug like?

• “This tiny little vibrating beauty. Maybe 3ish inches. It was perfect, and was my girlfriends at the time that we obviously cleaned well.” —Aarji, 32
• “When I started dating my current boyfriend, he was so big that anal sex felt truly awful—so we decided to look into butt plugs as a way to work up it. We bought a set of six from Amazon and started slowly. He had me lie on my back and slowly put the smallest one in, and then we had sex with it inside.” —Lizzie, 28
  
• “My current partner suggested it, so we went to a sex-toy store and picked some out. We enjoyed anal beads previously, so we thought a butt plug might be enjoyable as well.” —Anna, 43
• “It was actually spur of the moment. I bought a kit that had a silicone one in it from a local sex shop. It was small, around 3 centimeters. The guy I was dating wanted to try it, so we did and I actually enjoyed it. It was small, so it was easy for me at the time, being a beginner. Lots of anal lubricant made it easier!” —Kaley, 28
• “My first plug was a small silicone plug I had purchased from AdultToyMegastore, and honestly, it did almost nothing for me at all. However, I have purchased other plugs since that have been incredible to use.” —Sophie, 25

What is it about butt plugs that you enjoy?

• “It’s one of those things that just feels right and completely enhances your pleasure in every way. It’s so small and you wouldn’t think it makes a difference, but it absolutely does.” —Aarji, 32
• “It feels, say it with me, GREAT. You can pick a size that works best for you to deliver the best feeling. I even got my boyfriend to experiment with it a bit.” —Lizzie, 28
• “I like that it’s supposedly ‘taboo,’ and that makes it exciting? I also like that my partner likes it—especially since they suggested them in the first place. It’s not consistent…I would say we engage in butt play once every few months.” —Anna, 43
• “The thought of double penetration without having to actually have a third person involved.” —Kaley, 28
• “It all depends on the type of plug I’m using—vibrating, glass, rimming, inflatable, etc. The sensations can vary so much. There are so many nerves involved with anal play that aren’t normally stimulated, and when done right, the experience can be incredible! There is a ‘full’ feeling that comes from wearing a plug, especially when coupled with vaginal intercourse as well. I love that you can produce such different sensations to the same part of the body using different types of plugs.” —Sophie, 25

How does using a butt plug compare to having anal sex?

• “I’ve never had anal sex.” —Aarji, 32
• “It’s noticeably different, at least the way I use them. Butt plugs tend to be smaller and cone-shaped—easier to get in—and are more of a “get it in and forget about it” thing while you and your S.O. play in other ways to help maximize pleasure. But with anal sex, it’s constant penetration, which can, for me, feel less pleasurable sometimes.” —Lizzie, 28
• “It’s way better. I’m not a huge fan of anal sex unless I’m super relaxed and in the right mood, but most of the time, anal sex hurts. The butt plug is smooth and stays in. It’s completely different than anal sex.” —Anna, 43
• “With plugs, you can choose the size. With men, not so much. And with anal sex for me, it can be very uncomfortable and intense. Anal plugs are my happy medium.” —Kaley, 28
• “Most plugs are designed to be relatively stationary during use, meaning you don’t typically move them in and out. Butt plugs often have a slightly bulbous shape to them, and I find the feeling of moving a plug in and out to not be particularly comfortable. Anal sex usually has a bit of movement going on, but a penis or strap-on are longer and slender in shape, so they’re more comfortable. To be honest, the two sensations are quite different from each other!” —Sophie, 25

How does using a butt plug affect your orgasms?

• “Once you experience an orgasm with a butt plug in, you never want to have an orgasm without one in.” —Aarji, 32
• “It’s super sexy to watch your S.O. put it in, and it maximizes the size of my orgasm in a big way. So much so that I wanted to do this interview as a PSA for girls still on the fence.” —Lizzie, 28
• “It heightens my orgasms and heightens my boyfriend’s orgasms. I can tell it’s in me, but it’s not obtrusive.” —Anna, 43
• “Anal plugs apply pleasurable pressure to the back of your vaginal walls. They also come in various shapes and sizes, so some use it as a stepping stone for anal sex.” —Kaley, 28
• “Usually, using a butt plug amplifies my orgasms. There’s extra stimulation going on and more sensations being created, which can feel amazing! While I love these sensations, they can mean I take longer to orgasm, as it is more ‘complicated’ for my body to process. Straightforward clitoral stimulation can mean an orgasm within minutes, whereas adding in anal stimulation usually results in a more drawn-out experience for me. So I usually save using a butt plug for when I have the time to really enjoy every moment.” —Sophie, 25

How do you talk about using a butt plug with a partner?

• “It was really easy since my girlfriend was already into it. I just told her that I wanted to experience the same sensations she seemed to like so much.” —Aarji, 32
• “The first time my partner and I talked about it, he told me he ALREADY HAD A SET WE COULD USE. Are you kidding me, Justin? Obviously, I wanted to start fresh, so I made him toss out his old set too for karma reasons. Generally, though, we’re pretty up-front about it. ‘Hey, do you want to use the butt plugs tonight?’ We’re both into them.” —Lizzie, 28
• “We talk about all things. We will watch porn together and talk about what we might like to try. We will go to sex stores together and look at different options and pick up new items. In general, we work really hard to have a sex life because most of the couples we know that are our age aren’t having sex at all. It’s an important part of our relationship, so we commit to making it happen.” —Anna, 43
• “I would just be honest. Their answer may surprise you!” —Kaley, 28
• “I think communicating openly and honestly with your partner is the way to go. The good thing about butt plugs is that they are usually pretty ‘mess-free’ to use, as they go in and stay in—unlike anal sex, which requires a bit of preparation. So if you were worried about your partner thinking it was gross or they may need to put their fingers somewhere they don’t want to, a butt plug is a less daunting way to introduce anal play to the bedroom. It all comes down to communicating what your likes and dislikes are, just like how you might say you would like to try a particular position. But if they really aren’t into it, then you still need to respect their wishes. Just save using one for your one-on-one time.” —Sophie, 25

What’s cleanup like?

• “The same as any other cleanup. Shower, rinse, booty rub, and that’s it.”—Aarji, 32
• “Surprisingly, no big deal. Honestly, gals, if this fear is what’s holding you back from better orgasms, think again!” —Lizzie, 28
• “I’m very clear that cleanup needs to happen ASAP. As soon as it comes out, I clean it. If my partner uses anal beads, he cleans them. I usually have a change in bowel habits post–anal play—they are definitely looser and more frequent. So that’s something to take into consideration as well.” —Anna, 43
• “Surprisingly, it’s not as bad as you would think. Make sure you clean your toys with the proper cleaning methods for that particular material and always shower afterward.” —Kaley, 28
• “Be prepared for the possibility of a little ‘surprise’ while cleaning up. Any kind of anal play has the potential for a bit of mess, but putting a towel down on the bed and maybe one on the floor next to the bed to put your plug on after removal is a good idea. And always use an antibacterial toy cleaner afterward!” —Sophie, 25

What would you tell someone who is curious about trying butt plugs?

• “Do it. Once you go butt plugs, you never go back.” –Aarji, 32.
• “When I was much younger, I used to think there was a negative stigma attached to using butt plugs—and really, doing any butt stuff in general. I viewed it as just something gay male couples and ultra-kinky couples did. When I finally started getting into it, I was so glad I did. It’s not painful, it’s not messy, and it helps you reach better orgasms.” —Lizzie, 28
• “I was super nervous to try them. The set we got was a package of three and the largest one is daunting—I’m still afraid of it—but the smaller two are more my speed. I imagined I’d have to work to keep them in, but that’s not the case—they just stay in. They are also heavier than I anticipated.” —Anna, 43
• “You never know unless you try!” —Kaley, 28
• “Start off slow! I’ve spoken to many people who have been scared off any kind of anal play because they tried with a previous partner but tried to run before they could walk. The most important thing is to listen to your body. If it hurts or you feel uncomfortable, then stop. And if you are with a partner, you need to communicate how you are feeling. Start off with a small plug and see how you go from there. And USE LUBE! Lots and lots of lube!” —Sophie, 25

*Name has been changed.

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Sex & Relationships – Cosmopolitan
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