Okay, I don’t know who needs to hear this, but let me just start by saying you are a gdam prize. If you’re with a man who doesn’t make you feel wanted or worthy every! single! day! He’s not worth your time, energy, or this article click—regardless of his height.
But if he does make you feel wanted and appreciated regularly, you just simply want to do something a lil extra for him from time to time, totally get it. And boy, oh boy, do we have some sexy tips for you.
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The good news: These tips work regardless of your relationship status. I don’t care if you’ve been together five years or you’re on your first month of dating. Trust, there’s something in here for your man that will literally make him ache for you (…and maybe even beg, if you’re into that kind of thing).
Here’s what experts suggest if you really want to make him want you for no particular reason. You’re welcome.
1. Show off your curves and make some eye contact
Yup, sometimes all it takes is a quick lil tease of your body’s curves to make a man’s jaw drop. Certified sexologist and intimacy educator for K-Y Shan Boodram suggests playing up your “S” posture as much as possible. “Hips out, head tilted, shoulders asymmetrical, and curves wherever else you can manage.”
Another top tip: Give him a taste of the eye triangle. “Make direct eye contact, then move your eyes to their shoulders, down their body, and then quickly back up,” Boodram says.
2. Be independent
When I say independent, I mean eat what you want (regardless of if your S.O. likes it), listen to your favorite music, go out with your girls for regular brunch dates, and continue to partake in all of your fave hobbies.
“An independent woman is more attractive to a man because he is challenged that she can live without him,” says editor and content ambassador at Romantific Samantha Moss. “Let him feel that you love hanging out with him, but you still have a life of your own to live at the same time.”
3. Tease him while you’re texting
A bit of an obvious one, but not always utilized. Sexting is an absolute game changer and it doesn’t have to be hard. You can start by hinting that you’re craving him, suggests intimacy coach Ro Sanchez, owner of sex wellness brand She.Slips. Say something like, “Wow, your touch would feel so good right now.” And if you want to really up your odds of making him ache for you, “send him a picture of you laying down with your backside arched up,” suggests Sanchez.
4. Utter the One Word That Drives Him Nuts
As lovey-dovey as pet names make him feel, they still don’t compare to the electrifying rush your man gets when his name crosses your lips. “Just hearing it is an aphrodisiac,” says body-language expert Eve Marx, author of Read My Hips. “It ratchets up his desire because the message you send is ‘It’s you I’m thinking about and no one else.’ And men need to hear that — it’s tied to their primal urge to beat out all the competition.”
For instance, when you’re feeling sexy in a public setting, like in a dark bar, drop it into conversation in surprising spots and pause for a beat or two: “And then…Jeremy…I slammed the door behind me.”
Or try another trick when he’s putting the moves on you: Just kind of coo his name to draw his focus entirely on to you. “When Jake and I are getting it on, sometimes it feels like he’s lost in his own head,” says Sandrine, 26.* “But when I moan his name, everything feels like it gets more intense between us, like it brings him into the moment.”
5. Reach into His Pocket for the Keys
Well, more than just the keys. The lesson is this: “Never underestimate the power of an unexpected touch,” says David Niven, PhD, author of The 100 Simple Secrets of Great Relationships. “Just by stimulating his nerve endings when he’s not prepared for it, you create a positive physical connection that leaves your man wanting more.” Even better, your guy subconsciously gets hooked on those mini-moments of excitement and craves them when you’re not around.
From now on, be on the lookout for opportune moments to touch him “accidentally.” For example, don’t ask him for his keys…glide your hand into his pocket and slowly take them out. Don’t ask him to pass the salt…reach across him, letting your breasts rub against his arm. Don’t walk past him in a crowded bar…press your rear into his gear. According to Tricia, 25, these sneak attacks work like a charm. “If I’ve been really touchy-feely with Rob, the next morning, he’ll be really snuggly,” she says. “It’s like he wants to be closer to me.”
6. Make Small Changes for Big Results
“Men register eye-catching changes to your appearance, and it draws them to you,” says Lori Buckley, PsyD. “Adding novelty will keep his desire for you strong.”
There’s a catch though: If you want to snag his immediate interest, the change has to be guy-visible. “To activate his desire, it has to be a departure from your everyday look,” says David Buss, PhD, author of The Evolution of Desire. Maybe take a break from your jeans routine and strut around in a miniskirt. Wear a noticeably higher heel. Or ditch your bra for a day and put a little extra bounce in your step.
7. Compliment Him the Right Way
Look, men love flattery. “More than anything, men desire the feeling of being desired,” says Bernstein. “When a man hears praise from his partner, it reinforces that she’s attracted to him, which further intensifies his feelings for her.”
But there’s a trick to buttering up your guy right. You see, men are supersensitive to gushing. It makes them want to gag and run far away. So when you give him props, stick to this tip: The more obscure and exclusive the praise to him, the more genuine it feels. That’s why Molly, 31, casually praises her guy’s kitchen-cleaning prowess. “Tom is anal about wiping down the counters, so whenever I go to cook and they’re clean, I say how much I love it.” He may dismiss your flattery with a grunt, but deep down, he’s loving every second of it.
8. Give Him a Sensory Flashback
Think about when you first fell for your guy. What reminds you both of that time (aside from the conniption fit you had every time the phone rang)? Figure it out and you’ve found the secret to conjuring up that new-love rush. “When he experiences something that he associates with falling in love with you, those intense, sensual memories trigger a positive physical reaction and generate instant longing,” says Bernstein.
Case in point: “The smell of sunscreen and chlorine makes me crave my wife,” says Peter, 28. “It takes me back to when we were in high school and she worked summers as a lifeguard at a pool. Smelling that scent gives me the jolt all over again.” To get your guy in the moment, revive an old brand of perfume, visit a favorite place from your shared past, or reinstate an early dating ritual. Oftentimes, you won’t even need to say anything, according to Bernstein. These sensory connections are so strong that he’ll be transported back instantly.
9. Keep things mysterious…at least a lil bit
Your man is an explorer by nature. The less he knows, the more he wants to know. That’s why you pique his curiosity when you don’t initially reveal your innermost thoughts. Obviously tell him when you had a shit day and need to talk things out, but don’t be afraid to be a lil discreet from time to time.
10. Surprise him
I’m convinced that people who say they don’t like surprises actually do. And for men specifically, they flatline from the familiar. Variety is absolutely key to mixing it up. So throwing a new move into your game won’t just be a bonus for you, but the novelty will def turn him on.
11. Take advantage of your sexy scent
Biologists believe the reason your odor turns him on is because smell is one of the most primitive senses — it travels a direct route to the brain’s limbic lobe, where it can promote an emotional reaction. Spray your fave perfume on his pillow before you leave—he’ll never want to get out of bed.
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Sex & Relationships – Cosmopolitan
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