Your Sex Horoscope for the Weekend

What’s happening: Today, Mars Retrograde finally comes to an end! After two months of feeling like a piece of shit, you finally feel alive again—to say nothing of your boosted libido. Tomorrow, the Sun forms a supportive sextile with Jupiter, the planet of luck and expansion, and Pluto, the planet of transformation. On Sunday, Venus squares off with Jupiter and Pluto, making your love life waaaay more intense.

On Tuesday, Mercury and Uranus, the planet of disruption, enter an opposition, bringing big (and hopefully good) surprises your way. Finally, on Thursday, the Sun forms a sextile to Saturn, and Venus forms a square to Saturn.

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What that means:

Aries

Your sex drive is waking back up after two months of being totally dead (thanks, Mars Retrograde). As much as I’m sure you’d love to climb your boo like a tree, this week’s astro-weather isn’t really that sexy. Instead, it’s more intimate. Sex can be great with this astro-weather, but it’s especially mind-blowing when it’s with someone you already have a deep connection with. Anything casual will likely lead to catching feelings, because you want commitment right now.

Taurus

This week, you’re encouraged to try new things (or people) in bed. Change kind of scares you, so shaking things up in your sex life might seem challenging at first, but DW—you can move at your own pace! What’s that one thing you’ve always wanted to try with your boo? Bring it up next time you’re getting down and dirty! Are you crushing hard on someone? Slide into their DMs! The worst thing that could happen is that you get a “sorry, no,” so what’s holding you back from shooting your shot? You might be pleasantly surprised!

Gemini

The stars are urging you to make sure that you’re staying safe when it comes to your sex life this week. Follow those COVID guidelines very closely, people!!! While this is going on, you’re simultaneously feeling veeerrrrrry turned on and ready for action, so boning your boo is defs at the top of your to-do list. Venus, the planet of pleasure, is connecting with intense Pluto and Jupiter, the planet of abundance, this week, so you can potentially have some of the hottest, steamiest sex this week than you have in forever. Just be careful, and remember that phone sex is a thing!

Cancer

You’re normally the “slow and steady” type, but this week, you want something (or someone), and you want it bad. Whether you’re trying to slide into your crush’s DMs, DTR with someone you’ve been seeing casually, or upgrade your already-existing relationship, it’s really important that you plan before you act. You risk coming on too strong, and if you don’t get whatever/whoever you want, you’re likely to pop off over it. If someone says “no thanks,” respect that and move on. And for the single Cancers out there, if you want something real, remember that you have to take things slowly right now.

Leo

You and someone special are making a deep, deep connection this week (and if you’re single, this can easily be with a coworker, JSYK). Getting with your boo feels especially lovely, and this emo astro-weather is great for romance—not so much for anything casual, though. At the end of the week, there’s some difficulty coming from Saturn suggesting that you’re facing some type of rejection. If you’re in a LTR, it might just be a weird day where you and your boo aren’t talking much, but if you’re single, you might get ghosted or rejected by your crush, sry!

Virgo

There’s a nice blend of astro-weather coming your way this week, Virgo. For the most part, the planets want you to have fun with your love life, especially this weekend. Mars Retrograde is over and your libido is on fire! It’s a good time to get it on with your boo or just swipe on all the dating apps. There’s a bit of good luck being thrown your way right now, so your next partner might be just a DM away! The very end of the week shows that there’s a little bit of distance between you and your partner/crush—maybe they’re not in the mood, or maybe you just don’t talk for a day or two because you’re both busy. It’s nothing major, so just let it pass!

Libra

Mars Retrograde focused aaaalllll of its energy on causing drama in your relationship, and now that it’s finally over, you can expect all the arguments, disagreements, and petty bullshit to start passing over. This week, you’re wrapping up any leftover beef with your boo (or your ex!) and moving on for good. In the meantime, Venus, the planet of love, is still in your sign, so sex feels hotter, romance is more magical, and you’re a total babe magnet. Single or not, Venus is giving you a huge helping hand to improve your love life this week, so enjoy!

Scorpio

I have good news and bad news. I’ll start with the bad: There’s a lil drama getting stirred up by an ex this week. Now for the good: This week’s astro-weather is perfect for making new connections if you’re single and ready to mingle, especially on Saturday and Thursday. If you’re in a relationship or dating someone, Mercury opposes Uranus, the planet of disruption and surprises, on Tuesday, so important conversations are happening between you and your partner this week. This could mean DTR-ing with someone you’ve been seeing casually, upgrading an already-existing relationship, or maybe even a surprise breakup. Be honest—your relationship is strong, then this week’s all but guaranteed to be a great one, but if you and bae are on thin ice, this might be the time to tell them to hit the road.

Sagittarius

Since it’s still Scorpio season (the slowest time of year for your sign), don’t expect much to happen this week. If you’re in a relationship already, everything’s fine, but you’re probs not getting much action. If you’re single, this is not the time to start a new relationship. A more casual fling, however, is really supported with this week’s astro-weather, because Mars Retrograde is finally over! Mars rules libido, and in your chart, it’s now activating the fifth house, which governs romance, sex, and fun. You’re feeling turned on, horned up, and ready to fool around! Keep it safe and casual, have fun when/if you can this week, and keep your expectations in check. Your love life will get way, way more exciting after Sagittarius season begins!

Capricorn

This is a particularly exciting week for all the single Capricorns out! This astro-weather is great for making new connections, so your dating apps are off the chain. Plus, if you happen to be crushing on someone in your crew, this is a great time to shoot your shot—especially on Tuesday! If you’re looking for someone who’ll stick around, however, sorry, it’s not happening. This isn’t the best astro-vibe for commitment , but it’s great for flings, FWB situationships, and anything casual—time to work on your sexting game.

Aquarius

With Venus in Libra and Mars Retrograde finally over, you’re feeling empowered to go out and generate excitement and newness in your love life. If you’re crushing on someone, you’ve gotta ask ‘em out if you want anything to happen. If your sex life is mind-numbingly boring, try something new in bed. If your relationship in general just isn’t hitting like it used to, this might be the week to break up and start looking for something better. Basically, you’re being urged to look at what is/isn’t working, figure out what to keep, decide what needs to change, and then take action. The ball is in your court this week, Aquarius!

Pisces

You want intimacy and depth in your love life this week. Superficial flirtationships can be a lot of fun, but what you really desire is substance. You’re always über emotional, but this week’s astro-weather is putting you even deeper in your feels. If you’re boo’d up, this transit makes your relationship way sexier and more romantic, but if you’re single, you might be end up disappointed when you find out your fling isn’t interested in anything more.

Jake Register (better known by his Instagram handle, @jakesastrology) is a Libra and the author of Cosmopolitan’s weekly Sexoscopes.

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