5 Tips for the *Best* Virtual Winter Dates

Let’s just put it out there: There have been a *lot* of frustrating things about 2020. Our personal lives have been affected by the pandemic in nearly every way possible. School, work, and dating basically all went virtual overnight, and by now most of us have kissed any remnants of old routines goodbye.

As we continue through ~le cuffing season~, the physical distance feels particularly strange when envisioning curling up on the couch together—but actually very separately! Luckily, we have this magic thing called the internet that lets us do basically anything face to face (but, um, through a screen).

And while we’re v grateful to be living in the age of Wi-Fi, it’s gotta be said: Nothing can kill the mood during a virtual date quicker than a crappy connection.

“When you add a screen, Wi-Fi, and the inability to fully read your date’s body language, you’re in a different ball game,” says Yoni M., an LA-based millennial dating expert and host of Yoni Talks, her show on YouTube and Instagram Live. “To avoid the fast lane to stale and uncomfortable moments in virtual dating, planning ahead is key.”

Planning item number one? Get yourself a good tech setup (it’s your portal to finding love, okay?).

Get connected, like, technically

net10

Screens frozen on the most awkward face imaginable (*cringe*), audio and video that’s not syncing—connectivity issues during a date can ~really~ kill the vibe. Avoid these hiccups at all costs by making sure you have a reliable phone plan, your device has a good camera, and that little bat signal in the top corner has all the bars.

Upgrading your connection doesn’t have to mean digging in to your rent money, either. NET10 Wireless—a no-contract wireless provider—offers unlimited plans, including the new $50 Super Unlimited plan which allows you to call, text, or video-chat allll you want.

The provider also has you covered with a no-fees (music to our ears!) phone payment plan, so you can easily upgrade to the latest and greatest without a contract or deposit (starting at, no joke, $5 a month).

If the internet is spotty in your sexiest space, consider upping it with a hotspot. Lots of background noise? Helloooo wireless headphones!

Set the vibe

musical notes

We don’t need to tell you to do a sweep of your virtual dating space (see ya, dirty dishes from last night’s dinner and *multiple* laundry piles), but we do want to remind you to set the mood in your designated date area.

“Before the date, I always suggest setting the tone by playing your favorite playlist on low in your background. Not only can this be a conversation starter, but the ambient sounds will fill in any awkward pauses in the conversation,” Yoni says.

She also recommends choosing a spot in your home where you feel legit comfortable, like the couch, your balcony, or a bar stool. Skip the desk or table, which might feel waaaay formal. “Remember, this isn’t a Zoom meeting for work, it’s a date!” she says.

Leave time for a test-shot

cell phone

It’s worth testing your device set-up ahead of time, too, to get an idea of where you get the best service and the most flattering shot (very important, bb!).

“I tend to find that kitchens always have the best lighting,” dating expert Ariana Taylor says. Here’s what she recommends when prepping for your date:

  • If you can afford it, buy a small ring light (there are ones that can also hold your phone, making mobility easier).
  • Keep the camera at eye level for the most ~flattering~ shot (Too low = makes features look bigger and too high = makes them look smaller).

For your look, both pros agreed that a lighter touch on makeup reads better on-screen, but that feeling comfortable and like yourself is number one. “Confidence is what makes you sexy,” Taylor says. “Do whatever you feel looks best on you. It will come across in your presence and energy.”

Say “byeeee” to distractions

Allow yourself to really focus on the person on the other end of the screen by blocking out real life. Yoni recommends scheduling your date for when roommates or family will be out, so the space will be quiet. Consider situating yourself with your back to a wall to avoid unwelcome guests suddenly popping into the frame (go away, Dad!).

If your space is noisy, consider using headphones for audio rather than your device’s built-in speakers. Over-the-head styles may or may not vibe with your outfit (though, let’s be honest—anything goes these days), but smaller buds are barely noticeable.

Recreate IRL dating favorites

hearts

Just because you’re not physically in the same space doesn’t mean you have to skip all the date ideas you would’ve been excited about last year.

“Treat it like a real date!” Taylor says. “Set up an itinerary: Send virtual flowers, have dinner, then drinks and a movie together. As long as you always have something to do next, there shouldn’t be any stale moments.”

Another potential date idea (or way to meet someone)? “Join virtual events that peak your interest,” says Lindsey Metselaar, dating expert and host of the ‘We Met At Acme’ podcast and Instagram account. “You can easily join through your smartphone and most virtual events have chat features so you can spark up conversations with interesting, new people.”

Above all, don’t forget that finding a relationship during COVID is possible. It involves way more logistics and def looks different, but consider the upside—being forced to video chat quickly weeds out who’s really into getting to know you and who’s not.

“Pandemic rule number one: If they haven’t set up a FaceTime date, they are just not that into you,” Taylor cautions. “Having a video date shows the depth of interest in you since it’s easy to get stuck in social media or texting. We have to make sure they’re not just using you as a crutch to get through this pandemic.” Noted!


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Leah Melby Clinton is the Director of Branded Editorial Strategy at ELLE.com and MarieClaire.com, where she oversees the creation of co-branded stories covering fashion, beauty, and beyond.

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Sex & Relationships – Cosmopolitan
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