Love , Sex and Relationships
Hands Down, This Is the Best Vibrator I've Ever Tried — And It's on Sale for Black Friday
Nov
I’ve been masturbating for what seems like forever. Fingers and shower heads were all I used up until around age 18, when my best friend (who hated this loser guy named Jeff I was hooking up with) bought me my first vibrator. She accompanied it with a note: “His name is Jeff. Get rid of the other one.” So I listened.
The earlier Jeffs I used were all different kinds of bullets and rabbits and required lots of batteries (apologies to the planet). They were cheap (halp, I’m poor!) and I used them to death. I was satisfied with the vibrators I had but didn’t care that they stopped working after a few months because I’d just buy a new cheap one again.
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But then, the Womanizer Premium entered my life when someone gifted it to me. And let me just say: You never expect the Womanizer. She sneaks up on you one day and ruins all other vibrators forever. IT IS MAGIC. The first time I used it, I legit orgasmed in less than two minutes. That’s 120 seconds, people. (AND it’s 20 percent off for Black Friday and Cyber Monday right now, so you can snag it for $160!) Allow me to explain the deets:
- The Womanizer Premium is a vibrator that uses Pleasure Air technology that feels like a gentle suction over your clit—stimulating it without directly touching it. It’s like bomb-ass oral sex, mmkay?
- It is also USB rechargeable (No! More! Batteries!), waterproof, and made of “velvety soft premium silicone.” Which, for the record, feels o-mazing on your clitoris, if I must say so myself.
- It has 12 different intensity levels—depending on your mood—and a new function called Autopilot. This is the iPod Shuffle feature I never knew I always needed in a vibrator. It is a game changer. It will randomly select various stimulation patterns and intensities, creating a different experience every time. So no matter how many times you’ve used it, you and your clit will feel like it’s the very first time.
- For those with roommates or annoyingly near neighbors, there’s the discreet Smart Silence function, which means it only turns itself on when it’s almost touching the surface of your skin. It will turn off and go silent when you take it away.
- Although the price is on the higher end ($199 full price, but $160 this Black Friday and Cyber Monday), this is not a vibrator you’ll need to replace anytime soon. Consider it a solid investment for consistent, quick, intense orgasms for the rest of your life. You deserve it.
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Ever since the Womanizer Premium entered my life, I haven’t been able to get her out of my head. I’ve tried other vibrators: ones that hit your G-spot, bendy twisty things, small ones, large ones, and too-complicated ones, but I just can’t seem to get off the way I do with the Womanizer Premium.
A clit vibrator, in general, is your friend. But the Womanizer is the Beyoncé of all clit vibrators—super talented, reliable, hardworking, and THE QUEEN of them all. She can also be your very best friend (that is, if your BFF helps you sleep soundly at night…right after they blow your mind).
And now, Jeff is a relic of the past because I’m currently in a monogamous relationship with the Womanizer Premium. She’s busy, of course, running the world by giving orgasms to the smartest women on the planet who will buy her, but I remain loyal and true to her. No other vibrators—or men—can come close.
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Sex & Relationships – Cosmopolitan
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