Just a Bunch of Reasons Why You Shouldn’t Make a Joint Dating-App Profile With Your BFF

Like any other single millennial in her mid-20s, I will do quite literally anything TikTok tells me to. And this week alone, I’ve ditched the laughing emoji, threw out my skinny jeans, and replaced my hair’s side part with a middle.

So really, it should come as no surprise that it took me no time at all to jump on the latest trend: making a joint dating-app profile with my bestie.

Videos like this one and this one, which, mind you, have collected well over 1.4 million page views, piqued my interest at first. So I recruited my super-hot BFF and roomie Carly* because some virtual double-date action in the midst of a pandemic sounded like fun.

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I figured, hey, what’s the worst that could happen if I tried it?

Spoiler alert: everything. Literally everything.

After experimenting the last month or so on apps that rhyme with Shumble, Sminder, and Sminge, I’m sorry to say, dating apps were created and meant to be exclusively for one-person profiles.

Even if you want to believe TikTok over me, here are the eight reasons why you should keep your dating profile all to yourself. Trust me—don’t waste your time.

Reason one: Joint profiles literally aren’t allowed, lol

Within one hour, Carly and I had matched with 100+ people across our three dating app profiles. (Excuse me while I shout-out my BFF for lending her beautiful face to reel them in.)

We were seeing a number of matches we had never seen on our individual profiles before.

But just when our conversations started getting juicy—and by “juicy,” I mean we had a number of Zoom dates confirmed and numbers were exchanged—our profiles had been deleted. According to one dating app, we “broke community guidelines.”

I guess it would’ve been helpful to read if this were actually even allowed before taking TikTok creators’ words for it, but alas.

Reason two: Deciding on who to match with can get…complicated

The profiles were all on my phone, but we took turns swiping and matching for our individual tastes, which luckily are very different. I like anyone who triples my body mass with giant dark eyebrows. Carly likes anyone who looks like they’d be employed by Barstool. (Again, very little overlap here.) That said, if we had a more similar type…this little experiment would have ended quickly for a lot of reasons.

Like, what happens if you’re both attracted to the same guy? What happens if both of the suitors only like you? What happens if neither of them like you but they like your best friend instead? Which brings me to my next point…

Reason three: It can bring out the green-eyed monster

Carly and I are super solid in our friendship. But if you have one of those ultra-competitive type relationships with your BFF and you’re constantly one-upping each other: (1) Why is this person your BFF? and (2) do NOT make a joint dating-app profile with each other.

It’ll turn into a “Who is more interested in whom?” competition.

Carly and I luckily didn’t go through this because I’m constantly reminding myself I’m not everyone’s cup of tea. Plus, I wasn’t offended when someone wanted to talk to her over me—I love her! She is a catch! Great picking, dude! But I could totally see this fight happening.

Especially because a lot of the men who messaged us first said things like: “Dibs on the blonde” or “can I have the brunette?” and that’s horrific. (Men, be better—you don’t even know our chaotic personalities yet.)

Reason four: The odds you’ll find someone compatible for both you and your BFF are very low

I’ll admit, asking a match to “bring a friend” is a dangerous game of roulette. Especially because Carly and I decided we weren’t going to be rude and demand we see pictures of said friend before showing up on Zoom. (If you want to be bold, though, you could totally request a friend of your match who you saw in their pictures.)

Because of that, I’ll admit, there were a few times when Carly got the short end of the stick in the looks department. But luckily, I am blessed with a bestie who can find the good in anyone.

Reason five: If you legitimately want to find someone, you won’t find it this way.

It’s hard to properly get to know a stranger when two other strangers are also involved. It’s a lot of “Let’s go around the circle and each answer one question” type bullshit when you really couldn’t care less what 1/4 of the people have to say.

It’s also a lot of competing for who can get the next joke in, who asks the next question, who looks best in the Zoom camera, etc. I mean, by the end of one of our virtual dates, Carly and I were even Zooming in our own individual rooms so we didn’t literally talk over each other.

Reason six: Your matches deeply misunderstand your motives

No, Jeremy, we are not looking for a third.

Reason seven: Working around four schedules is exhausting

Surprisingly, even in a global pandemic, people are busy. We’re working jobs, doing side hustles, making sure we dedicate time to fitness, health, Netflix, and scrolling TikTok, etc. But because of that, you have now given yourself the chore of having to align four schedules for the sake of a “fun” double date.

For Carly and I, conversations went a lot like this in a group chat with our match and their friend:

Me: You free tonight?

Carly: Oh, actually, I work late, but how about tomorrow night?

Date Match #1: I have a presentation early the next day I have to prep for—what about a Saturday night Zoom?

Date Match #1’s Friend: I’ve got a call with fam…virtual brunch Sunday?

To no surprise, with enough canceling and rescheduling and more canceling and more rescheduling comes the only viable option left: ghosting each other completely.

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Reason eight: It’s kind of awkward dating with your BFF right beside you

When meeting new people, you’re encouraged to put your best foot forward always. But that’s hard to do when you’re sitting besides your BFF who has quite literally seen you in shambles, at your worst, with a half-eaten pizza beside your bed. (No shame tho.)

Carly knows me as the girl whose wine intake wildly exceeds doctors’ recommendations. My first dates know me as a girl who volunteers and reads for fun. You can imagine how creating an environment that mixes your dating life with the person who has seen you ugly cry to the results of The Bachelor leads to a strange middle ground.

This basically meant that Carly and I had to prep for what we were allowed to bring up about each other, what jokes were off the table, and which one of our many personalities we planned to show up that night for our virtual dates.

(She did give me the side eye for beefing up the fact that I’m an *amazing* cook on one date, when my idea of a proper dinner is Kraft macaroni and cheese.)

So, my final, final plea to not do this awkward time-sucking TikTok trend:

Sure, it was fun. And coming up with answers to the prompts, the bios, and what pictures we would use proved to be more exciting than watching an episode of Tiger King.

But from one desperately single girl to whoever’s path this article crosses, save the double dates until you’re an established couple. Your best friend is great for to enjoying almost everything in life with, but unless you choose to make them your life partner too, first dates should be something you should take on solo.

Especially because after four two-hour-long virtual dates, my ass is still single. And there are better things to do in a global pandemic. Like scrolling TikTok for more trends to try.

*Name has been changed.

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Sex & Relationships – Cosmopolitan
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