Valentine's Day Is My Favorite Holiday to Expose All the Cheaters Sliding into my DMs

Forgive me Father, for I have sinned, as I am literally obsessed with publicly exposing the cheaters in my DMs on none other than Valentine’s Day.

On a day where love is “in the air” (whatever that means), overpriced heart-shaped chocolate is everywhere, and people are flaunting their relationships all over Instagram, there’s no better time to stir the pot.

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A lil backstory: I started doing this four years ago. I got the idea because I noticed an influx of sexy one-liners rolling into my phone way too close to “The Most Romantic Day of the Year.” Most were from randoms who followed me, but a few I had met from bars, clubs, parties, you name it.

The problem? These men either had women in their profile photos or tagged in their grid pics; women they were clearly dating. So the exposing started small; I’d toss a screenshot to a girlfriend or two privately. But in the years since, this tradition has quickly become something that people actively tune into my Instagram for because it’s a ritual I do every V-day. Weird flex, I know, but here we are.

Here’s how it works: Around noon on the Valentine’s Day, I post an Instagram Story that says “He’s Cheating.” Then, I post the receipts. These receipts are anything from screenshots of one-sided texts, DMs, a few too many missed calls at an ungodly hour, you name it. And yup, I tag both the cheater and their significant other in the post.

I get that it’s mean to not let the women know privately instead, but hey, I’m messy. And considering my main priority is exposing these men, it just seems to have more of a lasting effect if I do it publicly.

Now I know what you’re thinking: “Ugh, really? You’re really playing out the bitter, single girl trope? How repetitive.” And to that I say, you are damn right. I am bitter, single, and repetitive.

But I do it on Valentine’s Day specifically because 1) what else do I have to do? and 2) why not blow up their spot on a day when men are pretending to be good boyfriends?

Admittedly, the response I receive isn’t always great. The Daves and Brandons I call out are mad-mad (as expected), and sometimes, their girlfriends block me too (less expected). Apparently the DMs from their boyfs about what they’ll “do to my bod”—ya know, the one I’ve humbly built entirely via FaceTune—is my fault.

I guess what I’m trying to say is, yes, I acknowledge this is cruel. And yes, this is a sick projection of my own single girl insecurities at the expense of others. But I justify my actions because, even if it may be for my benefit and more than a bit at their expense, I can take a little reach by thinking I’m doing the right thing. And these cheaters deserve a public slap on the wrist.

So at the end of the day, am I rationalizing childish behavior, offering some silly reasons to make myself feel a bit better, and poking fun at a holiday I simply haven’t met the right person to be able to enjoy? Absolutely.

But would you really expect anything less for a made-up day that was created to drive candy heart revenue sales? I think not. Excuse me while I have some fun on the high holy day of Walgreens chocolate.

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Sex & Relationships – Cosmopolitan
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