Your Everything-to-Know Guide to Ball Gags

Ready to introduce a hot as hell power dynamic into the bedroom? Or kindly and consensually stop your partner from talking? Meet your new fave sex toy: mouth gags.

You might know them better as “ball gags” but that’s just one type of gag on the market. (Yes, there are lots.) Below, you’ll find everything you need to know re: gags. Enjoy!

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What are gags?

Taylor Sparks, an erotic educator and founder of online intimacy shop Organic Loven, explains that a gag is…well, exactly what it sounds like: An object that’s placed in a partner’s mouth to put them in a submissive position and limit them from talking.

If you want to get more specific: “A gag ball is a round ball [that can be] made of either rubber, silicone, or plastic. It has two straps that go around the head to secure it. It sits behind the teeth, keeping their mouth open during bondage or other forms of BDSM role play.”

What are the different types of gags?

Let’s just say there’s lots, and lots, and lots of versatility. For starters, there are breathable and non-breathable gags. “The balls can be solid or have holes to assist with breathing,” says Sparks.

They also come in different dimensions for larger or smaller mouths. As a rule of thumb: “You want the ball gag to be large enough to prevent them from talking, but not so small that they can talk. The purpose is to have them in this submissive position.”

But like we said before, gags come in many different shapes and sizes—and not just in the shape of balls. There are ball gags, bit gags, open mouth gags, harness gags, dildo gags, etc.

“Most of the differences will be with the design of the straps coming in silicone, leather, or a fabric,” Sparks says. “But some gags are shaped like horse bits, penises, have attached nipple clamps, or just an O-shaped metal ring to keep your submissive’s mouth open.”

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How do you use them safely?

With any form of BDSM play (or sexual experience in general), there’s stuff to discuss and rules to establish before you begin. First things first: You need 100 percent enthusiastic consent. “Getting full consent in the form of a ‘fuck yeah’ and not a ‘we’ll see’ is the type of agreement that you want,” says Sparks.

Another topic of conversation before playtime should be aftercare. “In the initial discussion, ask your partner what type of aftercare they would like to receive once you have finished the role play or scene. Some people like to be held, others need a blanket as they may experience a chill from all of the adrenaline, while others just need a glass of water and a few minutes to re-center themselves,” she says.

Next? Discuss safe actions and not words (since your partner and/or submissive will not be able to speak while gagged). Some suggestions: If the gagged partner’s hands are free, Sparks suggests that they use one, two, or three fingers to tap you to express an “I need a break from this scene” or “stop immediately” or “I’m okay, continue.”

If they’re tied up, she recommends giving them a squeaky toy to hold and squeeze one, two, or three times instead.

“As the one in the dominant position, it’s important to check in on your partner frequently and not get caught up in what you are focused on like spanking, flogging, or humiliation,” Sparks warns. “Never leave someone with a gag alone or not without a straight unobstructed view of them, and the same is true of someone tied up. You want to be able to release them immediately if they can’t breathe or have an anxiety attack. We don’t always know what may trigger someone until we are right in the middle of a role play, so it’s best to stay close.”

Last but definitely not least, Sparks says to remember that the person gagged won’t be able to breathe through their mouths, so they need a clear passageway through their nostrils at all times. That’s why she advises against using gags when the receiver has a cold, the sniffles, a sinus infection, or even an upset stomach.

Why might someone be into using gags?

Sparks says gags are for someone who wants to try or indulge further into a submissive position or role. “Giving up your control and/or power can be stimulating both mentally and sexually to some,” she says. “Just the opposite for the one in the dominant position: Having someone trust you enough to voluntarily give up their control knowing that you will keep them safe and be responsible is also a big ego boost if not sexually arousing.”

Basically, sexual kinks and fetishes do not need to be explained so long as consent is always involved and it gives you pleasure.

Tips to remember always (no matter if you’re a beginner or more experienced):

Start by using the ball gag for only 15 minutes at a time. Then, you can increase the time as you both become more comfortable, says Sparks.

And if a ball gag is too intimidating for you, start with a bit gag. “It will put less pressure on extending your jaw,” says Sparks.

Lastly, for those experienced with gagging, Sparks says you can add additional sensory deprivation by adding a blindfold, handcuffs, or nipple clamps for some extra sensation. Above all, just have fun with it and do what feels good for you and your partner.

Now, if you’re totally sold, here are five types of gags you can try, ranging from beginner status to kinkier pros:

1. Quickie Bit Gag

2. Saffron Silicone Ball Gag

3. Deluxe Silicone Open Mouth Lip Gag

4. Deluxe Large Breathable Ball Gag with Nipple Clamps

5. Blindfold Harness and Ball Gag

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Sex & Relationships – Cosmopolitan
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