Your In-Depth Guide on What Type of Lube to Use in Every Situation

Lube is one of those things that you probably aren’t constantly on the lookout to buy and try new versions of, but for something that can seriously capital-C Change your sex life entirely for the better, it deserves way more credit and attention than we give it. Sorry, lube, we know you deserve more.

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Lube just generally makes sex a lot better (no more worrying about if your allergy meds dried you out) and once you have sex with conscious lube application, you’ll wonder why you were ever living life lube-less. A legit lube (aka not you or your partner’s spit, BTW), can make sex much easier, less painful, and all around more pleasurable. And if you need help convincing a penis-having partner to hop aboard the ol’ lubricant train: a drop of lube inside a condom can make sex feel way more enjoyable for them and possibly help them last longer too.

But lube isn’t just one-size-fits all, unfortch. There are certain types of lube you should use for certain activities at certain times. The lube you use in the shower might be different than the one you’ll want to use for toys and they both might be different from the lube you keep by your bedside table for partnered sex. This is because lubes can be categorized into three main buckets: water-based, silicone-based, and oil-based. While water-based is the best all-purpose lube (if you’re going for a desert island scenario, this is the one you wanna have), it’s also the only one that’s safe to use with condoms and all toys. It’s also a breeze to clean up, whereas oil-based lubes can sometimes leave marks. But, it also dries out a wee bit quicker than silicone or oil-based.

Going up the slickness scale from water, you have silicone-based lubes next. These formulas last longer than water-based lubes and are perfect for stuff like shower or bath play, but you can’t use them with silicone toys (and legit like, most toys are silicone nowadays). Silicone on silicone degrades the material so unless you want to go so hard you grind your precious vibrator into a Terminator-looking exposed circuit board thing, you will want to heed this warning. You also can’t use silicone lubes on most condoms (with some silicone lubes you can, but they will be screaming about that in the product description if so, therefore if you don’t see an explicit ‘yes, this is safe to use with latex condoms’ in there, assume it’s a no-go.)

And then at the very top of the slickness scale, you have oil-based lubes. The ultimate in slipperiness, the longest to dry out, and yep, you guessed it, the lube with the most restrictions. Whereas some silicone lubes can be used with condoms, oil-based lubes are a flat out no-go. The oil in these lubes will degrade any latex condoms, so these lubes are best for old school masturbation without toys.

I know it sounds like a lot, but seriously, if you can glean the difference between all the different serums you use for your skincare and have had it reflexively beat into your brain that retinol is only a nighttime thing, you got this! Unlike the other products you use in your 12-step skincare routine, there aren’t new categories of lubes coming out every other day. It’s really just these three!

But to make it a teensy bit clearer and literally lay it all out for you (and me, TBH), here’s an in-depth guide on what lube to use when, with a few of our favorite brands tucked in between.

As its name suggests, these lubricants are water-soluble, meaning that, yes, they contain water, with a few other ingredient solutions (sometimes cellulose ether or glycerin).

When to use

• Masturbating with or without toys
• Sex with or without condoms

Pros

• Great for your solo sesh. “It can be used with any and all sex toys, plus, it’s safe to use with pretty much any material on earth,” says Danny Becker, certified sexologist.
• Can be used with condoms without deteriorating or breaking them down.
• Most wallet-friendly, depending on the brand.

Cons

• No shower, pool, hot tub, or any other type of water sex. “You can’t use water-based lube in water because it will wash it away,” says Becker.
• It can dry out quicker than the other alternatives. “Plan on reapplying this for long sessions,” says Maryann Karinch, author of Mature Sexual Intimacy.
• Sticky. Pro tip: “Add a few drops of water when the lube starts to gum up, and it will get slick again,” suggests Carol Queen, resident sexologist at Good Vibrations.

Good news: This doesn’t contain any water, so it’s not going to wash right off of you or your boo. Though the texture may feel a bit different than your natural lubrication, it lasts much longer and is extremely effective in and out of the bedroom.

When to use

• Shower sex (or any other place with water)
• Anal sex
• Sex with or without condoms
• If you struggle to maintain “wetness” down there

Pros

• It lasts a lonnnng time. You won’t need to reapply again, and again, and again, says Queen.
• It’s 100 percent waterproof, so do your thing in the shower, bathtub, while chasing waterfalls, literally wherever.
• It’s ultra-slick. If you’re a newbie to anal play—ding, ding, ding!
• It’s hypoallergenic, meaning it’s very unlikely to cause you or your partner an allergic reaction, says Karinch.
• It’s also great for “fixing squeaky door hinges, moisturizing your tattoo, and making your hair shine,” says Becker. Okay!

Cons

• It can’t be used with silicone sex toys. “If the toy is soft, jellylike, or made of silicone, don’t use silicone-based lube,” says Becker.
• If you choose to masturbate without a toy, the lube may be so thick, you’ll need to wash your hands after playtime, says Karinch. NBD, though.

Aka petroleum jelly, olive oil, and nut oil. This kind of lube can increase the likelihood of condom breakage, but is a fan favorite for its slick texture that can last the entire Game of Thrones series. (Okay, maybe not—but definitely a few episodes!)

When to use

• Masturbating (but only for people with a penis)
• Massages

Pros

• “If you have a penis, it provides an external barrier which is super-slick and lasts until you scrub it off,” says Becker.
• It is extremely, extremely slick, says Queen.

Cons

• “Oil cannot be absorbed inside the body, so using it internally is not recommended,” says Becker. For those masturbating with vaginas, nix the oil-based lube altogether.
• And no sex with this lube either, as it will not only break down condoms and latex, but shouldn’t be used internally, says Becker.
• Not recommended for people with food allergies (re: peanuts!).

Technically, yup, this falls into the oil-based category (which means all rules for oil-based apply to coconut oil as well), but we’re making an extra note of this stuff on its own because coconut oil is so popular lately. This stuff is the best for…well, literally anything—use it as makeup remover, to moisturize your skin, in your food, in your hair, etc. It’s no wonder people are reaching for this au naturel substance for sexy time too.

When to use

• Sex without a condom (or only with lambskin condoms)
• When you want something all-natural and vegan friendly
• If you have sensitivity or are prone to allergies

Pros

• Its ingredients are generally safe for most people and bodies (inside or out), says Becker.
• It’s ultra-slick.
• Convenient. You probably already have some in your pantry.

Cons

• You can’t use it with regular condoms, as the oil will degrade and ruin the latex, says Queen.
• If you are prone to yeast infections, this is a no-go. “Coconut oil has the potential to upset the pH balance in the vaginal space, and the result could be another yeast infection,” says Karinch.

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Sex & Relationships – Cosmopolitan
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